When you’re emotionally on fire, stop, drop, and roll

You know that rule we all learned as kids? If your clothes catch fire: stop, drop, and roll.

Hopefully none of us have ever had to use it. But it’s drilled into our heads.

The same principle applies when there’s fire in a relationship.

When there’s a disagreement, an argument, a fight happening – the first thing is to stop, drop, and roll. Put out the fire.

That might mean leaving the room. Going for a walk. Taking space. Doing whatever you can to extinguish the flames right then and there.

Because when you’re emotionally on fire, it’s really hard to see the other person clearly. It’s really hard to communicate from a healthy place.

Your words will likely come out scorched.

So first: put out the fire within yourself.

It’s helpful to say “I don’t have the capacity to have this conversation right now. I need a timeout. Let’s continue this later.”

You’re recognizing that you can’t show up well right now. And rather than say things you’ll regret or dig yourself deeper into a hole, you’re choosing to pause.

The conversation will still be there later. But you’ll be able to have it from a regulated place instead of a burning one.

Where might this tool of stop, drop, and roll be helpful in your relationships?

Supporting your sensitivity,
Rena

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