What they’ll say

Years ago, I read an article that asked: what will people say at your levaya?

The implication was clear: push yourself harder. Do more chesed. That’s what matters.

And I get it. We all want to be remembered as someone who contributed, who gave, who made a difference.

But what I think that article got wrong…

Nobody at your levaya is going to stand up and say “Rena spent 8 hours a day sleeping and taking care of herself.”

They’re not going to talk about the time you spent exercising, or feeding yourself, or doing things that nourished you.

What they WILL talk about is how you showed up.

Were you present? Were you attentive? Were you grounded and calm when people needed you?

Did your chesed come from a place of genuine care, or were you dragging yourself through the motions?

That’s what people remember. Not the quantity of what you did, but the quality of who you were when you did it.

And: you can’t show up with presence and attentiveness when you’re running on empty.

The 8 hours you spend taking care of yourself? That’s what makes it possible to give the other hours with actual groundedness.

Rebbetzin Yitty Neustadt teaches to calculate sleep plus self-care FIRST – not because those things are what matter most, but because they’re what make everything else possible.

Nobody will remember that you took care of yourself.

They’ll remember that you were calm, present, and genuinely there when it mattered.

And you can only be that person when you’re coming from a regulated place.

How are you showing up right now – present and grounded, or running on empty?

Supporting your sensitivity,
Rena

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