What groundedness actually looks like (hint: probably not what you think)

Today I got activated by something completely mundane.

I signed up for a class at a local studio. They have a policy where I can request certain accommodations, and they’ve told me multiple times they’ll honor any request I make. No problem, they say. Just ask.

So I asked – with plenty of notice, well before their cancellation deadline.

They responded by suggesting I take a different class instead. Then went silent. And then I was past the cancellation window, potentially losing money for a class that won’t work for me.

In my body I experienced: Stress. Annoyance. Then judgment of them for being inconsistent and unclear.

As I sat with it I discovered what was really going on for me: I struggle orienting myself when people say one thing and do another. I struggle settling when communication isn’t clear.

For someone who teaches nervous system work, this felt especially ironic. Aren’t I supposed to be “past this”? Shouldn’t I be grounded enough to not get triggered by simple miscommunication?

But here’s what I learned (again) today :

Groundedness is not the absence of activation.

Groundedness is what you do while activated, when there’s enough safety within.

I noticed the stress. I tracked the judgment to what was underneath it. I asked for help finding language that aligned with my values. I sent a clear, boundaried message.

I did all of that while my nervous system was lit up.

That’s the work. Not being unaffected – but staying connected to yourself and your values when you ARE affected.

People will be inconsistent. Communication will be unclear. You will get activated. This doesn’t stop just because you’re “advanced” at this work.

The question is never “how do I not get triggered?”

The question is: “What do I do when I am triggered?”

And the answer? You feel it, you track it, you respond from your values anyway.

That’s groundedness.

If this resonates and you want to develop these skills:

Join me in Monsey next Wednesday for an afternoon workshop where we’ll practice exactly this – staying connected to yourself and responding from your values while activated. [Details and registration here and in the flyer below]

B’Etzem Israel is enrolling now – my comprehensive training program integrating Torah wisdom with nervous system work and embodied practices. Learn to work with activation (yours and your clients’) with depth and skill. [Learn more here and in the flyers below]

Work with me 1:1 – If you’re navigating your own recurring triggers and want personalized support in developing groundedness while activated. [Book a discovery call]​

Supporting your wholeness,
Rena

Monsey Workshop:

Training: