What I do every single day — even though my symptoms are mostly gone

One of the biggest misconceptions people have about nervous system regulation is that it’s something we’re supposed to do when we’re in the throes of dysregulation. In my experience, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Think of it like a fire drill. You don’t wait until the building is on fire to read the evacuation map and practice walking down the stairs. You do fire drills when things are calm, so that when the alarm goes off, your body already knows exactly what to do — without having to think.

Because what actually happens when a nervous system is already in the throes of physical or emotional pain and someone tries to desperately force a regulation tool — what you’re teaching your nervous system is that this is so dangerous and so bad that I cannot just sit with it. We try to fix it, and it ends up backfiring, making the symptoms generally worse and longer lasting. It gives the message that something is wrong here — as opposed to: this is just energy in motion in my body that doesn’t feel comfortable, but I am safe enough to handle it.

I lived this for years. I got sick with mono about 17 years ago. My doctor told me I’d be sick for six months. Through Dr. Sarno’s work, I was able to figure out the root cause, my fever broke within 24 hours, and it really introduced me to this work. But even after that, I struggled for many years to regain my energy, and migraines and back pain stayed with me for a long time.

It was only when I started developing a daily practice — checking in with my nervous system and my inner world — that things started to shift. The symptoms didn’t resolve because I was doing something to try to change them. They resolved because I trusted they were coming from nervous system dysregulation, and I knew that a consistent daily practice, over time, would help my nervous system come back to regulation with more ease and flexibility. And by its very nature, that would decrease the symptoms. That’s exactly what happened. Using this work, I have healed from over fifty different symptoms.

Now, even though most of the time I no longer have those symptoms, I still have a sensitive nervous system. And most women who struggle with some sort of chronic condition, pain, or emotional challenges also have sensitive nervous systems. This is not something we do once and stop. I continue doing this work myself every day, every week — because my sensitive nervous system requires it.

Just like I need to feed myself daily, drink water daily, move my body daily, and sleep daily — I also need to attune to my nervous system on a daily basis. So instead of thinking of this like training for a marathon — putting in the work, crossing the finish line, feeling proud, and maybe never running again — I’m training for daily attunement to my nervous system. So that my nervous system can remain flexible, keep my body as healthy as possible, and lower my stress from the inside out. Every single day. For the rest of my life, beH.

Now, I know the words “daily practice” can trigger a lot of perfectionism and inner critic voices — oh great, here’s another thing I need to do, and I’m going to fail at it. A daily practice does not have to be intense or rigid. It’s simply a moment where we give ourselves the gift of self-attunement at some point over the course of the day. I say: I am worth at least 10 seconds of tuning in to what is going on in my inner world. It can be 10 seconds or it can be longer — but it’s every day.

The biggest thing that gets in the way, though, is that we women tend to put ourselves last. One of the ways we can start to put ourselves first — and make it a real commitment — is through accountability.

If you’re a somatic practitioner — do you have a daily practice of your own? Because if you’re not regularly attuning to your own nervous system, you cannot fully support your clients in theirs.

And if you’re a self-employed woman — you know what it means to be in go-go-go mode. Running a business takes everything you have. You need something that helps you soften, drop into your body, and actually process what’s coming up as you navigate all of that.

That’s exactly what Soul Tilling offers.

Soul Tilling meets once a week for an hour. You know that there is this one hour over the course of your week that you are devoting to your nervous system and to getting a sense of what’s going on inside of you. Over the course of the hour, I give you imagery to work with and journaling prompts, we journal together, and we go through about 25 minutes of different somatic practices.

When you come, you don’t have to think about what to do. You don’t need to plan anything. All you need to do is show up — I’ll guide you, set the pace, and create the framework. You attune to yourself, with support.

My hope is that over the course of the hour, you’ve connected to at least one thing that’s been helpful for you — something you can take into your week and continue to practice, whether that’s 10 seconds a day or a full hour. And even if that doesn’t happen, you can trust that you at least gave your nervous system that one hour of the week.

Of course, you do need to take the responsibility to show up, and to be honest with yourself about what you can handle. When we go inside, all kinds of uncomfortable feelings might come up. The question is: can you sit with that, and trust that by sitting with the discomfort, things will shift?

Because something beautiful can be born from that. All of the stuck energy in your life, the areas where you are unable to move forward — by being with it, by being with your body in this way, things will start to open up. And Hashem’s shefa will have space to flow into your life.

Want a feel for what Soul Tilling is like? [Watch a short clip here.]​

Mondays: July 20, 27 | August 3, 10​
5:30 AM NY / 12:30 PM Israel
10:30 AM NY / 5:30 PM Israel

~60 minutes | Live on Zoom | Not recorded

Join for a trial class — $40​
​Join for the full month of Av — $100​
Financial aid available.

Registration is open until we begin tomorrow, Monday, July 20.

​[Register here]​

Warmly,
Rena

P.S. Don’t forget to connect with me on WhatsApp. I share visual reminders to anchor these ideas and link to new content weekly.

This week’s book recommendation: If this email resonated with you, I recommend When I Start My Business, I’ll Be Happy by Sam Vander Wielen. The title is the whole thing — that forward projection, the idea that the business will eventually get built and then life will settle. Vander Wielen writes from inside the experience of online entrepreneurship, and the book is practical: legal foundations, early pitfalls, how to keep growing without losing yourself in the process. Where most business books hand you a strategy, this one asks you to take yourself seriously as the person running it. Order a copy here — this is an affiliate link which doesn’t cost you anything extra and helps support my work.

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